Monday, June 20, 2005


How To Lose Every Game in 6, 7, Now 8 Days

I bailed on a group dinner at Asia de Cuba and presumebly some follow-up drinks at Skybar due to feeling incredibly asocial this weekend. Instead, I ended up watching "How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days", starring Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey. (Don't ask. It was the only movie on TV that I hadn't seen.) I stopped watching about half way when I realized that the ending was going to be some sort of a get-back-together routine, and Kate Hudson wasn't going to show any skin. Typical chick flick. No reason to watch it, unless coerced by the significant other.

The plot is about a female columnist who, for the purpose of writing an article, tries to have a guy dump her by intentionally doing all the wrong things in a relationship. Buying him a hairless poodle, barging in on a poker night with a PMS-induced tantrum, ruining a dinner cooked by the guy by saying she's a vegetarian, etc. I bring this movie up because it mirrors the recent plight of the Dodgers, who found every creative yet painful way of losing 6 straight. A quick recap -

How Not To Bunt
Game 1 vs. KC: Down by 1, the Dodgers strike out 3 times in the 8th despite 2 gift baserunners via a walk and a hit-by-pitch. In the 9th with a runner on 1st, the Dodgers give away 2 outs with botched bunts while facing one of the worst closers in baseball.

Takin' Pity On An Old Friend
Game 2 vs. KC: The Dodgers' bats fall silent in order to give ex-teammate Jose Lima his first victory of the year. Apparently the Dodgers are overwhelemed by so much "heart-and-soul" facing them on the mound.

The Return Of Jose Offerman
Game 3 vs. KC: Lead-gloved Antonio Perez commits a fielding error in the 6th inning, and Lowe, haunted by the memories of the early 04 Red Sox defense, implodes immediately.

Bullied By Buerhle
Game 1 vs. CWS: The Dodgers start a Rule 5 rookie pitcher against the staff ace of the team with the best record in baseball. The game is decided before it starts. The Dodgers are promptly shut out.

The End Of "Game Over"
Game 2 vs. CWS: Despite the umpires' best efforts to hand out a mercy win by giving LA a gift insurance run in the 8th, LA still manages to lose as new closer Yhency Brazoban blows a 2 run save. The walk-off HR is hit by ex-Giant Pierzynski, adding insult to injury.

Misssster Hee Sssseop Andersssson...
Game 3 vs. CWS: Proving that Chan Ho Park is not the only Korean major leaguer with martial arts skills, Hee Seop Choi demonstrates the Neo "dodge the bullets" move during a bunt attempt, and hinders Kent's play at 1B. Overall, 3 errors and 2 unearned runs.

What's next, an on-field brawl amongst Dodger players? An inside-the-park HR allowed to the opposing pitcher? Giving up 2 grand slams in the same inning to the same hitter? (Oh wait, that's been done before.)

Fortunately, the division is so terrible that LA is still only 4.5 games out of 1st place despite losing 33 out of the last 54 games. The Dodgers are hopefully running out of ways to lose, so maybe the team is due for a turnaround. Who knows if there is a happy ending like the chick flick, but the rest of the season can't be as bad as the current stretch.

I hope so. The Dodgers need wins as much as Kate Hudson needs some boobs.

13 Ks Baked By Jake
Game 1 vs. SD: LA gets mowed down by Peavy, the young stud ace of SD. Down by 1 in the 8th inning, the Dodgers get a gift runner on 2nd with 0 outs, thanks to a fielding error. In keeping with the recent skid, the runner does not score, never mind advance even a base.

Dios mio.

Edit 2:
How Not To Bunt, Deja Vu
Game 2 vs. SD: In a game eerily similar to the first game of the losing streak, the team is down by 1 in the 9th with runners on 1st and 2nd base due to a rare catcher's interference call and a walk. Antonio Perez manages to get a bunt down this time, but right at the pitcher. Easy out at 3rd. Different game, same result.

It's hard to watch the team repeating the same mistakes over and over. LA has run out of new and creative ways to lose.

Yup, the last couple games have been horrible. Lets hope they'll play better.

When our ofense was good, our pitching stunk. Now, our pitching is good, but our offense really stinks.

The way Choi dodged that throw by Phillips reminded me of how Keanu Reeves dodges bullets in the Matrix. The first base umpire was obviously a White Sox fan.
the fact that the last few games were close makes it more painful to watch.
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